Q: What's brown and sticky? (Originally from Liana)
A: A stick.
(Picture Emily rotflol)
Q: What did zero say to eight?
A: Nice belt.
(ha .. ha...)
Q: What do you call a spanish guy with a rubber toe?
A: Robberrrrto (said with heavy "r"s)
Two statisticians were on a hunting trip and they see a deer. One takes a shot at the deer and misses it just barely to the right. The other tries the shot and misses it barely to the left. They both look at each other and say, "Great we got it".
Q: What do you call a piece of chocoalte cake thrown up in the air?
A: "Brownie"-in-motion
Two statistics are in a bar. The first statistic says to the second statistic, so how are you enjoying married life? The second statistic replies, "Well it's very nice though I do lose a degree of freedom."
Q: What is a bucaneer?
A: Expensive corn.
Q: What did the fish say when it came to the concrete wall?
A: Dam.
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
(The following state ones are asll from Liana)
Q: What did Mississippi sip?
A: A Minne-soda.
Q: What did Della wear?
A: A New Jersey.
(From Emily)
Q: What do you call a triangle that was hit by a truck?
A: A wrecked-angle.
Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven eight nine.
There's an engineer, statistician and economic on an island and they need to get off because they're stuc,k there and so the engineer designs a beautiful raft contraption to get off the island and the mathematician goes off and proves that it's actually possible to do and then the economist just says, "Well suppose that we're not on an island..."
Possibly more to come....
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4 comments:
Sorry, I can't help myself:
What math is discussed between seabirds? Intergull calculus.
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
I Wish I Were Your Derivative So I Could Lie Tangent To Your Curves (math joke facebook group)
If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes (bio joke group)
Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape
(HA!)
Q: Why couldn't the negative pair square things away?
A: Because they had complex issues!
1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
Did you hear about the dyslexic who walks into a bra?
Q: What did the wall say to the other wall?
A: I'll meet you at the corner.
Ok, no more. (If I can help it)
I'm obliged to add some jokes too.. you know, it'll make you appreciate Emily's more :)
Q: Why don't aliens eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny
Q: There are two cowboys in a kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
A: The one one the range
(eh, yeah, lame-r than most)
Q: WHat do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by it's diameter?
A: Pumpkin-Pi!
I read this somewhere and couldn't resist:
At a press conference held at the White House, president George W. Bush accused mathematicians and computer scientists in the U.S. of misusing classroom authority to promote a Democratic agenda. "Every math or CS department offers an introduction to AlGore-ithms", the president complained. "But not a single one teaches GeorgeBush-ithms..."
One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?". Descartes replied, "I think not.", and promptly vanished.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
A: To get to the other ... er, um ...
Q: How do you make a hot dog stand?
A: Steal it's chair
Q: What did one elevator say to the other?
A: I think I'm coming down with something!
I like Emily's better ^_^
Whoops, that second joke is supposed to say "the one ON the range"
-Liana
Liana I love that cowboy joke!! he he...you guys are amazing.
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